As Hyakkaryōran Tsubaki and Elise Calcifet try to reason with the cheery little machine, its blue LED eyes turn off and on, akin to a blink. Then, it lets out a chirp of realisation, as though it realised what it had done wrong. After a moment of reflection, it hauls its eponymous Iron Bundle from its back, and begins to dig through it. They don’t need to fight and steal from each other. This thoughtful little robot has brought enough gifts for everyone!

THUMP! A bag of white powder is unceremoniously tossed towards the princess. Specifically, this is what the kids these days would refer to as an “eight ball”.

THUNK! Meanwhile, the poison type specialist is treated to a used car battery. Acid leaks out of the cracks in the exterior, trickling out into the ground below.

But those aren’t the only gifts to be given. Jack Napier leaps and grabs for the bird, but he only manages to grab his present - a flashbang. Then, as casually as though it was opening a can of Bepis™, it proceeded to pull the pin before walking away. Well, that wasn’t good.

But even worse than that, there were hooligans who were disrupting the spirit of Christmas! Momo Sakai sets about disarming all the children, which earns her plenty of angry screaming and disappointed grumbling and bursts of tears from the kids. That simply won’t do! The Iron Bundle’s eyes narrow as it takes a bead on the pink-haired perpetrator, aiming its sack toward her and unleashing the full force of a Hydro Pump upon her.

---

The next deadline for this thread is Sunday 19th November, 7PM GMT
For future rounds, please include a TL;DR of your actions at the bottom of your post.

John Sullivan has missed a round of the event. If he misses another round, he will be kicked from the raid and his presence retconned.

Hyakkaryōran Tsubaki Elise Calcifet Momo Sakai Jack Napier

fashionably late

Let's do des.

It was a regular day in the life of John Douglas Sullivan. Christmas season was upon Hoenn— which meant one thing.

He needed to buy gifts for his friends and found-family, but specially Hideo Kino and Eris Halla.

Because much as he despised the rampant consumerist culture encouraged by Capitalist Christmas— He loved the kids' faces when they got gifts, and they were both getting older.

Soon enough, they would barely react at all and be asking him to get them useful shit like socks or shoes.

Before such a horrific moment came, he had to enjoy their innocence while it still remained.

And he had found the perfect gifts this time, too! Oh, he could just picture now their happy little faces.

Yes. He had found the perfect gifts. He had pictured their happy little faces.

Past tense.

Because just as he stepped out of the shop— A gargantuan hydro pump swept across the mall like a sniper's shot, shooting through the gift boxes he held in each hand with terrifying, almost comedic accuracy, somehow managing to burn holes through the paper Mache fabric and leaving perfectly geometric circles through which Doug could see with crystal clearness that Hideo Kino's and Eris Halla' gifts had been absolutely totalized.

Staring into the holes for several minutes of silence, almost as if frozen in place, Doug's head finally began to turn, his spine's discs screeching like rusted hinges as his dark gaze slowly rolled over and crossed the Iron bundle's blue LED eyes.

"_You." He breathed out lowly.

He maintained unblinking eye contact.

"You must realize."

His dropped the boxes, his hands falling to his sides— before a pokeball suddenly launched out of his sleeve and into his palm like a hidden dagger, growing to full size as he raised it to the Iron Bundle.

"This means war."

His words hung in the air— barely heard by anyone at all, since he had been more or less talking— well, whispering to himself.

...

He suddenly broke into a sprint towards the robot penguin.

"MOTHERFUCKEEER!"

He screamed, pokeball going un-thrown.

I4N2ySLe

Arriving unfashionably late, John Sullivan is thrown into the deep end, and he decides to swim deeper. Enraged by his ruined gifts, he rushes towards the Iron Bundle, intending to punish the mischievous machine for its misdeeds. Unfortunately, in his anger, he misses out on one key detail - That being the flashbang still hanging in the air. It explodes in a flash of eye-searing light, and he ends up caught in it too. Thus, he ends up charging right past the Iron Bundle, and crashes straight into a stall selling fine china.

SMASH! CRACK! SHATTERSHATTERSHATTERSHATTERSHATTER! Dozens upon dozens of cups and plates come tumbling down, and John Sullivan is left to figuratively pick up the pieces. And, if the screaming shopkeeper is anything to go, he might end up having to do it literally, too.

Another of the blinded suffers a far less expensive fate. In his stumbling, Jack Napier doesn’t bump into hundreds of Pokedollars of ceramic, but into Elise Calcifet instead. Fortunately, neither of them are hurt by the fall, though arguably, the fall in the least of their concerns.

Elise Calcifet’s Mismagius, Hyakkaryōran Tsubaki’s Gengar, and Momo Sakai’s Cherrim all retaliate against the Paradox Pokemon in quick succession. First, a Sludge Wave crashes down upon it, dousing it in acid, and sending a used car battery bouncing off of its head. Then, a Petal Blizzard swarms around it, battering the penguin with a flowery barrage. Finally, as though to add insult to injury, its very own gift was thrown back at it with Psychic, the eight ball slamming into its body and bursting, covering it from toe to tip in white powder.

With such an effective combination of ruthless attacks, the fight is almost over. Sparks shoot out of its body as the robot stumbles back and forth. The Iron Bundle is clearly reaching its limit. All it would take is one more good hit to--

PSSSSSSSSST! Reaching into its bag, the Iron Bundle nonchalantly pulls out a shady-looking potion and sprays itself, and soon enough, it’s back in tip top shape. Now, back to work, and double time! After all, it needs to make up for all the time it’s already lost!

Thus, the mailman begins to gift like there’s no tomorrow. Already behind schedule, it resorts to giving away that which it has the most of - fireworks. Sparklers, firecrackers, roman candles, Catherine wheels, skyrockets, all of them are haphazardly tossed into the open arms of the eager public. It’s even so kind as to pre-prepare them, igniting each one before it tosses it into the crowd.

It’s truly an inspiring showcase for the quick pace and unrelenting work ethic of these machines. Before long, a dozen lit explosives have been littered around the market, and if he isn’t stopped, then a dozen more will be given out, too!

---

The next deadline is the 23rd of November 2023, 7PM GMT.
Hyakkaryōran Tsubaki Jack Napier John Sullivan Momo Sakai Elise Calcifet